FSU CHEATS

MERRY CHRISTMAS GATOR FANS

I'm Back

"Hey, kids, it's me!
I betcha thought that I was dead!
But when I fell over I just broke my leg
And got a hemorrhage in my head!"




Thats right kids, like the clown from Billy Madison, I'm back -


Football season is over -
while we all shed tears of great sadness about the end of the college football season, lets use this time to expand our horizons. Use our free time for good. We can now spend more time with family, maybe learn a new language, or volunteer at the local soup kitchen.... Ah who am I kidding, It just Hurts so bad-

"Leave me alone. I said get away from me you BUM. here, take these 'Italian made easy' tapes and my firstborn- teach him to beg so he won't go hungry. I just need to be alone... here in the corner... ahhh fetal position...



Wait there's still Bowl Games!
ah yes, the tradition above all other traditions. The glorious new years time when teams across the country go to random neutral locations and play for meaningless titles. Yeah, I know we were 'Outback bowl champs 2005' but I'm just not that proud of it. So get excited people- these are the reason we can't watch a college football playoff. I'm sure you understand why its way better this way.

AHHHHHHH, YOU MENTAL MIDGITS, I WANT MY PLAYOFF, AHHHHHHHHHHHH
-back to the fetal postions..... oh sweet sweet fetal position.



Heres your dose of weekly rediculi

COLLEGE FOOTBALL NEWS
Rich Rodriguez to Michigan Michigan hires the best guy available. Congrats to them. He also runs a great offense which means a big ten game might be watchable next year -
Petrino to Arkansas -
Quits the atlanta job before the end of year one. This guys has the staying power of... well.. of me. I've always said one year at a job is way too long.
Norm Chow to coach UCLA?
would make a great rivalry between them and USC. What? these two are already rivals? coulda fooled me you west coast pantywastes
Nick Saban's Agent contacted W.Virginia
are you serious?!?! please leave bama for a lesser job after one year, please please please - Well bama' I guess you don't always get what you pay for (4 million for a guy job shoppin on you)
Cutcliff to coach Duke
Tennesses's O-coordiator takes off for the promise land of Duke. What will Tennessee do now that theres no one to tell Eric Ainge how to throw INTs to wide open LSU defenders


Les Miles tribute:


LSU fans never cease to amaze


Arknasas news media is as crazy as LSU fans:


ATTENTION -Notre Dame still sucks


Gator News:

Meyer's recruiting hyjinks involve aprons and gymnastic scholarships

More Tebow:
yeah its already up in the stadium













Gator players arrested for throwing Jimmy Johns
I wish this wasn't true, but it is and its hilarious


More Tebow:

Midweek Notes

Tebow has it locked up

This years Heisman race is like first and goal from the one. Tebow is a lock to put it in the endzone.

Check out the highlights

Meet the family

Heres the proof

more proof

See you guys Saturday for the coronation.

One more Tebow story:

You can add one more talent to Tebow's list - I was told this week that when Timmy goes to class he never sits in the same place. One day in the front, one day in the back, left, right, wherever. Well so does everyone else. If you track the patterns of where the rest of the students sit, they migrate towards Tebow. One day everyone will be in the front, then all in the back, whereever Tim goes, so goes the rest of the class. Ha - Human Magnet - add it to the list, right behind bulldozer and in front of baby rhino.

Two more years!!



Latest sign that FSU and Miami suck:

all-ACC team announced:
Defense: 1st Teams (1) Miami & (1) FSU
2nd Team (0) Miami & (0) FSU
Offense: 1st Team (0) Miami & (0) FSU
2nd Team (.5)Miami &(.5)FSU - they tied for the last OL spot
Special Teams: (1 drunk kicker) FSU

So thats a total of (2.5) for FSU and (1.5) for Miami
To compare: Maryland (3) - GaTech (8) - VaTech (7) - Virginia(4) - BC (7)- Clemson(6) - Wake (5) - UNC (4) - NCSt (2) - Duke (1)
Way to go guys, at least you beat Duke


James Carville is my hero



Thats right you "MENTAL MIDGETS"

Sunday Fallout: Special Edition

Missouri Loses
If we removed ourselves from this season and I told you a 10-2 OU team was playing Missouri for the B12 champ, You would have said it was a no-brainer, and you'd have been right. Chase Daniel played decent, but was no match for OU's talent loaded team.

West Virginia Loses
The bigger story from yesterday was the Mountaineers brainfart. This has to go down as one of the toughest losses any fan base has ever suffered... ever. West Virginia is a team that has been on the outside looking in the last five or six years. The Big East hasn't gotten the respect and neither have they. In fact, they have been on the outside their entire existance- the Neer's have never won a national title. The closest were good teams in the late 80's/early 90's. On Saturday, they were just 6o against a 4-7 team away from a winnable title game. On top of that, the 4-7 team was their biggest rival Pitt. These schools are only 70 miles apart and by all measures, hate each other as much as any two in America. Just a devastating set of circumstances to blow it, what a huge opportunity blown... and wow, did they blow it.

BCS Loses
All day Saturday I was torn on both late games, as to who I wanted to win. Either both win and make for a unique title game that excluded the Buckeyes, or both lose and bring about BCS pandemonium. But as the games were in progress I was clearly rooting for both to lose. Nothing against either team, I just hate the current system. Anything that would bring us closer to playoffs is good, anything. Not to mention the fact that if both lost, my prediction from 7 weeks ago would have been right. By the way- I WAS RIGHT. All personal glory aside, this is great for fans and bad for the BCS. I hope you die bowl championship series. Hope you die a horrible agonizing death.

LSU wins big
LSU is in, then out, then in, then out, now in again.... I think (we'll see tonite). Congrats to the Tigers on their SEC title... you lucky bast- I mean, I bet you guys feel pretty good about winning against a team like Tennessee. Ohh how I want another shot at LSU. You even avoided the Dawgs, who would have given the Tigers a better game than the Vols. But alas, it was not to be. Can't wait to see you next year in Gainesville.


-Two Loss Theory Reigns!
I had really given up hope three weeks ago. It wasn't "normal" football but upsets looked to be drying up. I came to the realization that to continue on pace required more and more luck each week. Back then, if 2 out of 14 teams lost it was OK, then it was 2 of 12, 2 of 10, etc. down to this week when we needed exactly two upsets in two games. Impossible in any normal season, but at 8 o'clock last night, Lightning struck twice just inches apart (poll wise).


-I even predicted that a one loss Kansas team doesn't have a shot.

-What is the difference between Kansas and Ohio State?
If both have the same record and conference record, and OSU won a title and Kansas didn't; then doesn't that mean OSU just has a weaker conference? Well yeah, the Big Ten is terrible. They also have comparable non-conference schedules. Sorry Kansas, tradition rules.
Who would have guessed a team from the Big Twelve north would rather play in the Big Ten?


-Tebow has a lock on the Heisman
Yeah, I can't see it any other way. White and Daniel played their way right out of it. It strange that injuries can't eliminate you from the race: White and Dixon; but they can also help win it: Shoulder contusion anyone? It's just Tebow and McFadden (That sounds like the scarriest backfield ever) left to fight over it. I think we'll see the first sophomore win it, while the guy who should have been the first sophomore ever looks on. Which is a real shame, It'd been neat to see McFadden pass on the trophy to Tebow. Instead it looks like a bias against RBs. And another guy joins the growing list of incredible athletes leaves college without winning the biggest award: Vince Young, Adrian Peterson, Larry Fitzgerald, Tommie Frazier.

-Double Brother QB name: Chase Daniel

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH College Football AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH UPSETS AHHHHHHHHHHH PLAYOFF AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH PITT AHHHHHHHHHHHHH BCS AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH CRAP AHHHHHHHHHHH


August 29:
"This Saturday starts a new season, a new roller coaster ride that lasts through early January"
-Gator Sandwich


October 19
"I've gone on record as saying a two loss team will play for the title.... just wanted to get this out there before this weekend, I'm calling it 6 weeks in advance! I want credit when it happens dang it"
-Gator Sandwich

say it with me:

Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff Playoff


More to come....

Games of the Week: Finals Week

OU vs. Missouri - 8:00 ABC

Pitt vs. 2West Virginia - 7:45 ESPN

18Tennessee vs. 7LSU - 4:00 CBS


Root For:
LSU - cause I just hate the Vols
Missouri and W. Virginia to lose - cause It would bring about chaos and arguing
Missouri and W.Virginia to win - If I can't have both lose, They must both win. Just to spite OSU
UCLA, Arizona, Oregon State - cause if all three win, UCLA is Pac-10 champ, despite losing to Notre Dame and Utah, HA
Washington - cause Hawaii just isn't good enough to watch in the Sugar Bowl
Chase Daniel to suck - for Tebow's sake, also he eats boogers



Tubs to Arkansas?
Well we don't have any proof of it (just this news report from Arkansas, where you believe nothing and everything) and very little reasoning behind it (Arkansas isn't a step up, but Tubs is from Arkansas)
But Its time to get nervous Auburn Fans. A long weekend of nervous.




Pete Carrol Profile - I've always hated Pete Carrol. Thought he just landed in the right spot at the right time. But now I'm not so sure. Really, I'm not sure what I think - this article spins you in a ton of directions: He doesn't Sleep, Drink, Fear, or know where his keys are. He controls Thunder. He constantly smiles. He like to hang out in ghettos (seriously, he visits LA slums to meet and help out underprivileged kids- in the middle of the night). I was dumbfounded. Read it if you've got the time.


UF's "Tebow for Heisman" Press release

Cartman does the CU lineups
Offense and Defense

I told you I hate Tennessee


lastly, unrelated to football:
List of ridiculous people - watch the video of the blind kid - ridiculous

Every Tebow Touchdown

Yep, all 51.

Time to pick out your favorites



Mine:
(3:49)vs. Ole Miss - drags defenders in from the five
(1:20)vs. S. Carolina - meets to players at goalline and drives them backwards
(0:45)vs. FSU - dodges two defenders and scrambles through 4 more